Just when you think life couldn’t be any better, the most unlikely event happens to you. A totally unexpected situation overtakes you, shaking the inner core of your existence and rippling through to the core of who you are.
You Can Overcome Disappointment, Feel A New And An Increased Sense Of Awareness And Clarity In As Little As 60 Days
You may think the pain will never stop but that is only because it just happened. It will definitely get better. I know this because I have been through various bouts of disappointments. And each time, the higher my expectation the more pain I felt. Each time it felt like the pain would not stop but it did. The last disappointment was entirely unexpected and felt so painful but in exactly two months the pain was gone in its entirety. I just woke up one day and found the pain was gone. I no longer had any ill-feeling or sought anything or write-ups to combat the pain. I found some of the action points in this article highly instrumental in helping me to move on hence my desire to share them with you perhaps you will find some of them useful in moving past what you feel now.
Everyone gets disappointed one way or the other. If there is one predictable thing in this life, it’s that you will be disappointed somehow at some point. They can come in any form but the feeling of disappointment shakes your inner core and throws you off balance. The more you expect or care the more you will be hit by the disappointment. But if it is of any consolation, know that what feels like hell right now is a blessing later.
And as Henry Ward Beecher puts it, “One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” One door may have closed, but maybe a window will open, and the whole experience can lead to something even better for you.
Someone you care about betrays you, you lose a job you love, or you are let go of after many loyal years, you face unexpected rejection, you lose something very valuable, probably you lose an election or an appointment, your relationship or marriage ends, your friends or colleagues turn on you for no reason, some people just can’t stand your guts and you are treated in a less than dignifying manner, then sometimes your hard work or efforts are not appreciated and you are discarded just like that – these situations can cause you disappointment and terrible heartbreak.
Whether we like it or not, these things happen and they come when we aren’t prepared for them. Every now and then, different situations spring up that one can be disappointed over. Sometimes the disappointing situations can come at rapid speed, other times they are truly huge and life-changing. These are the kinds of disappointments that make you seek articles like this.
Why You Get Disappointed
When you get disappointed, it is usually as a result of your attachment to a certain expectation. And when your expectations are not realized the way you have expected, you become disappointed.
You can’t be disappointed if you are not attached to the expected outcome. This deep attachment is what drives you to invest emotions, efforts and energy in the process. If you don’t over-invest, and over expect you won’t be disappointed.
“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
When the situation sets in and you feel the first winds of disappointment, take a step back, and assess the entire situation. Isolate your feelings and pinpoint exactly how you feel, such as disappointed, resentful, or afraid. Identifying the way you feeling will help you process the situation better.
Turn the emotional tables on disappointment and look for ways to grow from it
There are steps to improving our ability to cope and bounce back quickly from the disappointments and frustrations that come to us when we least expect.
Firstly we must understand that, even though we don’t get to choose the disappointments that come to us, we have a lot of choices regarding how we respond to them. Your overall state of stress and anxiety can increase your level of sensitivity and make you more prone to agitation. Thus you must watch your health and focus on staying strong and find things to do every day that keep you calmer so that you don’t feel it is the end of the world.
Furthermore, evaluating the entire experience to identify the positive outcomes that can emanate from this experience the situation will help you process better and think positively. This helps us on our journey of moving forward from the disappointment. It’s all part of the learning experience meant for you in your journey on earth.
Process the whole situation and outline things you could have done differently. Sometimes you don’t know the role you played in the whole situation this keeps you up at night. In trying to figure out the role played in the whole situation. Nevertheless, put it behind you. It’s past. You can’t influence it. You can’t change it. You have to move on.
If you know the details of your role in the entire situation and outcome, this may be good for you. You will definitely think about what happened on and on and replay the many things you should have, could have, and would have done differently if circumstances were different. But of what use now? You have to move on. It’s past. You can’t influence it. You can’t change it. Simply do better next time.
Feed your mind with new pictures and start changing your narrative. Set new goals and get to work.
In the initial stage, reach out to a friend to talk. It’s okay to vent. But do this for only a brief period and stop talking about it. And make sure it’s a friend you trust. Even at that, your best friend also has another best friend who also has another best friend or friend they trust, and before you know it your story starts spreading around. That’s why there is a need for exercising caution.
“Feed your mind with different pictures and contents”
Take a long walk every day for a week or two, take long baths, and watch comedies. Take on new projects that will engage you. Don’t do anything that would make you wallow or be upset, but clear your mind, do something different, and when you least expect you will start to heal.
Feed your mind with different pictures and contents. In no time your narrative will change.
Don’t let today’s disappointments rob you of tomorrow’s joys
You may not be able to entirely prevent disappointments, but you have a major influence on the odds.
Find something useful that you can build on. It can’t be all bad! There should be some good that would emanate from this situation. Compare the good and the bad, at least try to identify even the smallest positive.
When we get stuck focusing on only the bad we lose sight of what is right in our lives and the world around us. Count your blessings and be grateful because it could have been worse than what it is and certainly, others are facing way bigger disappointments and challenges than you are right now.
The more we can learn to see the situation in a way that’s constructive and positive while still being honest, the better we are able to process disappointment.
What are the Lessons in this Situation
There’s definitely something to learn from the situation, whether it’s that you should give more room for disappointments, do more research before engaging, not be so trusting, or not jump into something that you are not so certain about, be cautiously optimistic but private, and share your joy and success after it happens.
Again, rather than handling situations in an absolute manner, get detached from the outcome. This doesn’t mean we wouldn’t put in our best in what we do but having an open mind that however things work out we will be fine. In essence, think of everything in life as an opportunity with a view that things can change at any point in time.
Even though it’s not fun to learn your lessons the hard way, think of the brighter side and see some positive things this knowledge can do for you in the future.
If you never fall, you will never learn how to get back up.
Think of other avenues and make an effort to explore what’s next, instead of focusing too much time on the sadness. Take the opportunity to try something new that can give you more experience that will be of help to you in the future. Sometimes you find you are able to work better with a variety of people, and you gain more confidence in striving for and achieving your dreams.
Being stuck with just a particular way of doing things or processing situations might not really be helping us but we don’t know this until disappointments come and we are forced to look at other options. More often than not, we learn new ways and meet new people as well as find other options that we are usually grateful for later.
Being forced to accept a new person(s) into our lives can be a new opportunity, too. New friends can bring a new drive and energy into your life. A new person can introduce you to new opportunities you never imagined. Even if you don’t see them now, eventually, the dots will connect.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even Two months?
It can seem like the biggest, most horrible thing that could possibly happen right now but there’s always a brighter side. Ask yourself if this experience will matter in five years or six months or even two months. More often than not your answer would be it won’t.
If nothing at all, your experience has allowed you to gain new lessons, whether about yourself, the situation, or the world. You have learned something people around you have not.
This experience is no longer a setback because you have overcome a challenge most people around you probably haven’t faced. It has given you something to learn. With this new lesson you have learnt from this experience, you have moved a step further towards becoming better you. You have become stronger than you used to be. You attain a new state of awareness, consciousness, and growth which you have never had before.
Sounds cool right?
If you follow everything outlined here, in 45 days the pain will be gone and, you won’t be looking for ways to deal with the pain anymore. In 60 days, you are already in a place of bliss; no longer harbouring any ill feelings towards anyone. Your testimonies will start flowing in at this time as well.
We have to accept that so long as we keep striving, we will always face disappointments one way or the other time. We have to also accept that it is a part of life and a part of being human.
Even though it’s hard to accept, it’s a constant throughout the rest of our lives. It’s something that will come at one point or the other as we continue to strive. And we also have to accept that whenever it happens, we will feel pain.
This is a lifelong challenge and fundamental to dealing with disappointment. Everyone will certainly be disappointed at one point or the other, you will be disappointed, and you will disappoint others. Life will be disappointing—but it will pass.
After the experience
After shaking myself out of my most recent disappointment, it feels like I’m operating at a higher consciousness level. I have learned new things professionally and otherwise. I also feel a new and an increased sense of awareness and clarity about myself and everything around me. Things are certainly different and better than they were before the incident. Above all, I never thought I would say this but, I’m grateful for the experience, and following recent happenings, it was kind of a blessing in disguise.
This is my prayer for you too.